Circle Rice

Hello world. Lately I’ve been plagued with a horrible case of writer’s block. Not quite sure what is going on with this, but the only thing I’ve been able to do is update Oliver’s list of things he’s destroyed.

We’ve been attempting to leave him out of his kennel for short periods of time when we leave the house. Although he still manages to chew stuff up, I’ve noticed progress. Oliver has developed a conscience. I can make him suffer incredible guilt for what he does by simply a look or the tone of my voice.

(Please excuse my VERY annoying voice in the video)

So what is the real reason behind my inspiration for a blog post this week, you ask?

The fall of humanity.

Yes, my fans, I am incredibly disgusted with humanity right now. Perhaps I have what my nephew warned me about after our trip to the movies last week. It’s called Avatar Depression (soon to be added to the DSM-IV). Or maybe it’s just the fact that I was alerted to two of among the most disturbing “news” items I’ve ever heard of after a difficult night in the jungle I work at. I’m going with the latter. So, instead of writing philosophical stuff, I’m going to sell out and try to gross you out.

Caution. Be afraid. If you do not want to be disgusted, click the small “x” to the right hand corner of your screen, unless you are smart like me and have a Mac, then click the red dot to the left. Consider yourself warned.

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“News” item #1

A man has invented a $7000 sex robot called Roxxxy.  Story listed on the main page of  CNN’s website, because this is what people want to hear about. It has silicone skin and heated coils through out it so it will be warm to the touch like a real person. Apparently it has different settings from prude (Frigid Farrah) all the way to slut (Wild Wendy). So let’s say you decide you are okay with a sex robot, can it at least be slightly attractive. This doll is downright scary looking. I don’t get it. According to the inventor, they already have 1000’s of people who have pre-ordered it. Why isn’t someone working on a robot to do my laundry???

“News” item#2

A woman is breast feeding her dog. I’m watching Chelsea Lately, the late night talk show, and she brings up this story during her monologue. Has to be a joke right?? No. Okay, okay, I admit it. I googled “woman breastfeeds dog”.  Surely I’ve ended up on some FBI list now, but I had to know if it was true. It is.  Apparently, her dog was hungry, she was breastfeeding her kid, so of course she put two and two together, and VOILA, problem solved. And you know what is REALLY sad. She is not alone. She found other people doing this on the internet to justify it. Like the internet is a good place to justify your sanity.

I’m at a loss for words as I feel my coffee slowly working it’s way back up the back of my throat along with my breakfast.

Not much gets to me. (Okay, I’m lying) But to have these two things brought up in the same night has taken the hatred of my own species to a new level. I’m seriously ready to turn into an 8 ft tall blue alien with a tail and live on the planet Pandora.

The world is a sick, sick place.

Now, I wonder how many of you are going to google “Woman breastfeeds dog” as soon as finish this blog. Sickos.